So, how much do you love Borderlands 2? Probably a lot since you are reading this. But, how much do you love loot? Probably not that much, because I already know I love it more than anyone else playing the game. And I only speak in facts, so trust me.
Ok, here you are ready to play Borderlands 2 online (so dumb there’s no single player mode). First thing you should do is find someone that allows all players to join their game. This means they are begging to give up the loot. Wait until they sign on, then jump into their game and immediately start hoarding EVERYTHING. As long as you do it consistently and to the same person, it’s fair right? What’s worse than someone that inconsistently shares things? This world needs decision makers and leaders, not communists. This is Pandora, not Pand-Asia.
Now, what should you do if they start complaining about your capitalistic playstyle? Simply ignore any hater comments, demonstrate your commitment to the task at hand, and remain serious. This is not a game. With jokes. And then as payback, steal the loot because you snooze you lose. Another good tactic is to choose the healer, never revive, and steal the loot when they are down. Can’t let those easy pickins’ go to waste! By this time you should be fully enjoying yourself and have simultaneously made an even closer friend. I bet all those doctors that say we need face-to-face social contact are kicking themselves now!
Have fun playing… I mean, winning, because it’s a petty and selfish world out there filled with meek online players that don’t know the meaning of ‘having a good time.’ It’s a shame though that Borderlands 2 only has one mode, Co-opetition Lootfest, because sometimes I would really just like to play by myself.